Royal Worm (Mike Tauser) can be reached at tauser@sbcglobal.net.


Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Monday, November 1, 2010

Welcome to the Turnings of a Royal Worm

This site is a collection of music and poetry by Mike Tauser. For more information about using these songs or having new songs composed, please contact him at tauser@sbcglobal.net

The Unyielding Gaze

The Walk-a-Thon Song

Roller Rink Rock and Roll (Lyrics only, no music)

Drink of Him (Lyrics only, no music)

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Archibald Lenoue's Zoo

Archibald Lenoue's Garden of Zoological Studies

Outside my back door there’s a zoo
That I built recently
I customized the cages and I planted six new trees.

It is my sanctuary
It is my pride and joy
It’s more than just a hobby
It is my most precious toy.

The first cage moving westward
From my brand new back porch swing
Holds two males and a baby to whom
Both men like to sing.

These guys might be great neighbors
If they were not in my zoo
Yet, as it is, I only stand and watch the things they do

The next cage holds a family with a Spanish-speaking lean
I hear their conversations but I can’t tell what they mean.
When their music makes me move my feet and dance a bar or two
I stop myself and move on for these folks are in my zoo.

Just past the single mothers
Next to my refreshment stand
I often hear the eloquence of one tall, colored man

The passion of his words cause me to hear him well some days
But then I catch myself,
“He’s in my zoo.” I walk away.

You’ll find me in my zoo in mornings, afternoons, and night
(But I close it down each Sunday without fail. That just seems right)

It is my sanctuary
It is my pride and joy
It’s more than just a hobby
It is my most precious toy.

My family worries for me “It’s the company you keep”
Some even say they wonder how I’m
Brave enough to sleep
They’re sure that they’d be frightened,
Nervous to the very core
With so many of those people just outside their door.

Yet, I am fascinated by these folks so unlike me
As long as they stay in their cage
We all will be happy
And just in case my zoo and my reality collide
I will be ready with a loaded shotgun at my side.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

A Todos



Take Christmas, mix in my love of math and add a little interaction with the Spanish language and this is what you get:

A Todos
A todos, Feliz Navidad
Merry Christmas, everyone
Five times five is 25
And one times one is one

A todos, Feliz Navidad
Merry Christmas all of you
Six plus six will get you 12
And one plus one makes 2

Joy to the World the Lord is come
Let earth receive her king
Let every heart prepare Him room
And heaven and nature sing

A todos, Feliz Navidad
And Merry Christmas too
Seven squared is 49
And half of four is two.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

The Houston Zoo Song



This is another song that I played for a kindergarten class. I read/sang to them on the Monday before Thanksgiving. They took a field trip to the Houston Zoo on Tuesday, so the song fit in just right. Also, I got some assistance from the zoo itself. One of the members of the staff sent me pictures of each of the animals in the song. I put these pictures in a Power Point which I was able to show to the class as well.

The Houston Zoo Song
When I went to the zoo to the Houston Zoo
When I went with my class to the zoo
When I went to the zoo to the Houston Zoo
I saw a bunch of animals how ‘bout you

I saw a sea lion swimming in a pool
I saw a tall giraffe who was looking cool
I saw an elephant with his ears so big
I saw a babirusa which is like a pig

I saw komodo dragon over by the snakes
I saw some fish and ducks all swimming in a lake
I saw some friendly otters slipping on a slide
I saw a giant eland with a great big stride

I saw a herd of zebras dressed in black and white
I saw a groups of meerkats who kept me in sight
I saw a pride of lions resting in the sun
I saw a crocodile before the trip was done.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The Hungry Caterpillar Song



I had a chance to read to my daughter's kindergarten class. I ended up writing a song about each of the three books I read. One of the books was THE HUNGRY CATERPILLAR by Eric Carle. This is the song that I sang to go with it.

THE HUNGRY CATERPILLAR SONG

He's a hungry caterpillar, great googily, googily, goo
He eats and eats and eats 'cuz that's what caterpillars do
He's a hungry caterpillar, hip, hip, hip hooray
He will become a butterfly
On a special day

He starts out with an apple then he eats two pears, three plums
He even has a piece of pie before his meal is done
He eats throughout the morning
He eats into the night
I heard he eats while he sleeps now that would be a sight!

When his tummy's full he spins a fancy new cocoon
He climbs inside and hides a while
But he will be back soon
What happens next is true I am not telling you a lie
He flies around the garden as a brand new butterfly

Monday, September 21, 2009

Three Little Bible Study Students



A few weeks back an individual's vehicle was broken into while our congregation was at Sunday School. The incident got me thinking about how safe we can really keep ourselves and what we are relying on, which led to this song.

The Three Little Bible Study Students

I’m sorry for the tardiness
In getting to my chair
Teacher, please forgive me for my late arrival there
I pulled into the lot ten minutes early it is true
Anticipating finding in the Word
His grace anew
Yet, once I parked, I realized that wolvers were lurking near
I had to guard my car from them for I hold it quite dear.
Again, sir, I am sorry for my lateness to your class
But now I know my car is guarded
By a wall of grass


Dear, Sensei, I apologize, my timing brings me shame
I will not point my fingers
There is only me to blame
I pulled up in my Honda with a minute left to spare
Yet, then I opened up my door and I found danger there
“Don’t leave it unattended!” “Don’t leave it in my care!”
The echo in my ears told me that I must take great care.
I got here quickly as I could though my fear scratched and clawed
I’m not afraid now my car’s guarded by a wall of straw

I can’t believe how late I am
It seems the class is done
It saddens me to miss out learning of the Father’s Son
I pulled into the driveway rather late I must confess
I barely made it here at all
My life…it is a mess
Once I turned off my engine
I was ready to come in
Until I heard the howling and the growling closing in
I will try to do better
I hope next week does the trick
For now my car is safely guarded
By a wall of bricks.

Important Document Concerning Immigration

Important Document about immigration into this country...

An interesting document has been unearthed that sheds interesting light on the story of immigration into this country. There is some disagreement about the exact date of the correspondence. Also, the condition of the document makes some parts of it difficult to decipher, but on the whole its message speaks for itself:

Please enjoy

“Dear Sir,

I brought up my concerns with a leader in my community, who indicated that I should forward them to you.
I have been a member of this community for my entire life, and I cherish our cultural heritage and traditions. I have supported our leadership’s policy of welcoming the recent new arrivals to this land where we live. I have supported the policy because I believe that this land and all the richness in it belongs to a higher power than ourselves, and while we live on it we are in no way the owners of it.

Having said this, my observations compel me to express my concerns about our treatment of these newcomers. I feel that while we have bent over backwards to accommodate these visitors, they have been far less than accommodating to us, their de facto hosts. We have dedicated some of our best minds to understanding the language and customs of our new neighbors; while by all accounts little effort has been made by the visitors to reciprocate this effort. We have given them assistance in their struggle to survive on an almost daily basis including preparation of a large feast last autumn; while these guests have taken our gifts for granted and showed a lack of appreciation for our way of life.

It seems the only time they do accommodate our wishes and customrs has been seen in the realm of trading, where they have gone out of their way to discover what items would most entrance our people. After discerning this information, they have leveraged that knowledge to pry treasured resources away from us on a regular basis.

Perhaps my impression of our new acquaintances is inaccurate and they will prove to be great friends and neighbors over the years. However, my gut feeling is that they are more interested in telling us to obey the Golden Rule, which they speak of from their Holy Writings, than they are in obeying that rule themselves.
Due to this feeling and the overpowering weapons that they possess, I am afraid that they will overrun this land I love and cause great strife to our nation.

I appreciate your consideration on this matter.

Sincerely,

Talks with Tongue in Cheek”

Common Sense- The Rest of the Story

I recently received an email that bemoaned the "death of common sense" in our nation. This following essay was written as a quasi-sequel to that email.

COMMON SENSE- The Rest of the Story

I must admit that I was saddened to hear about the recent passing of COMMON SENSE, which has been announced in various places on the world wide web. The announcements that I have read mention his loss of influence in our nation, but fail to explore the circumstances behind this decline. My original theory to explain COMMON SENSE's fade to irrelevance was that he moved to Canada or Japan. However, research into the matter has revealed the rest of the disheartening story behind the demise of COMMON SENSE.

Before I begin it should be noted that there is debate into whether COMMON SENSE ever really existed, as there is no mention of him in any ancient text before he was thrust into the American vernacular by Thomas Paine. I will leave this debate to those more scholarly than me.

There was a time when COMMON SENSE held sway from the Atlantic to the Pacific form Canada to the Gulf of Mexico. His ideas were revered by many. He is duly given credit for well-respected statements such as “don’t spend more than you have”, “eat your vegetables”, “proper planning prevents poor performance”, and “keep your kids home from school when they are sick”. His influence was massive. It was so great in fact that he eventually needed help to maintain his heavy workload. Guiding an entire nation is a time-consuming job.

As his staff grew, several of COMMON SENSE’s top assistants gained major influence over his operation. A few of those who were most influential included the brothers, DID YOU SEE WHAT HE WAS WEARING?! and DID YOU HEAR WHAT SHE SAID?!. Also on his team were DON’T LIKE WHAT YOU’RE DOING BECAUSE I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT, and MOUTH OPEN, EARS SHUT. Another major contributor during this time was BUT, THIS BIBLE VERSE SAYS, who was consulted almost exclusively when COMMON SENSE had a religious issue to address.

For the sake of COMMON SENSE’s memory, it would be nice I could say that he was oblivious to the new directions in which his leadership team took his message. However, most reliable sources indicate that he enjoyed the extra influence that was being garnered through the use of his name, and he was unconcerned with the methodology that was used.

As the situation spiraled out of control, any chance of COMMON SENSE being audible again was lost as more aggressive members of his staff asserted their influence. Most notable among this faction were YOU SHOULDN’T THINK ABOUT THAT, I CAN TALK LOUD LONGER THAN YOU CAN and COWARDLY ANONYMOUS EMAIL who had a natural tendency to work in conjunction with SEEMINGLY AUTHORITATIVE YOU TUBE VIDEO BASED ON PART TRUTHS. While the new approach that the COMMON SENSE camp took had some initial success, gradually, as a result of the increasing difficulty in hearing COMMON SENSE’s actual voice, most people stopped listening.

After watching the misuse and decline of his influence, I can only hope that COMMON SENSE is finally able to rest in peace.

He is My President

He IS my President
Several weeks ago, I was on a walk in my neighborhood and I saw a sign which read HE IS NOT MY PRESIDENT. The message of the sign got me to thinking about whose President a president is. It led to this poem.

He is My President

I pray for Barack Obama
May he have the strength today
To represent this nation in a most amazing way

May you keep your eye upon him
May you give him what he needs

Be it mercy, understanding or a band-aid when he bleeds

I must confess, about him, there is little that I know
Yet, he is in the driver’s seat, deciding where we go

So, I pray for him, my president, may he have the strength today
To represent our nation in a most amazing way.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

What is a Red Snapper Doing in San Angelo?

One of my wife's colleagues asked me to see if I could find out anything about the San Angelo Red Snappers. He is from San Angelo. (which is in west Texas) I felt a bit like Wes Cowan from PBS's HISTORY DETECTIVES while researching this story.

What is a Red Snapper doing in San Angelo?

San Angelo Red Snappers you just won the 1928 West Texas Baseball League Championship, what are you going to do now? Obviously, going to Disney Land wasn’t’ an option for 20-game winner Jubilo Clements and his Red Snapper teammate as the team’s response to the question was change our nickname to the Sheepherders next season.

Why would a championship team change its nickname? The answer to this question is most likely found by looking at Earl “Red” Snapp. More speificially, looking at his departure after the season. Snapp, 39 during the 1928 season, was the manager of the San Angelo nine. According to internet databases, it was Snapp’s ninth season as a manager. After 1928, Snapp spent the next year, his final one as a manager with the Sherman… you guessed it… SNAPPERS

Interestingly, eight of the teams Snapp managed were apparently named after him.

His managerial record
1915… Paris RED SNAPPERS
1916…Oklahoma City Senators
1921…Paris SNAPPERS
1922…Paris SNAPPERS
1923…Ardmore SNAPPERS
1925…Okmulgee Drillers
1926…Marshall SNAPPERS
1927…Paris SNAPPERS
1928…San Angelo RED SNAPPERS
1929…Sherman SNAPPERS


Looking through nicknames and managers of teams in minor leagues in Texas that were contemporary to Snapp indicates that having a team named after a manager was NOT a common thing. Snapp played professional ball in Texas from 1910-16. Also, he was a successful manager. Along with 1922 in Paris and 1923 in Armore(OK), the San Angelo was his third as a manager. His name (and perhaps his personality?) almost begged to be made into a team nickname. I don’t think it is a stretch to imagine that Snapp’s name along with his success as a player and manager and his likely resulting notoriety made naming a team after Red Snapp a logical, marketing-savvy decision.

EARL “Red” SNAPP
Born: December 8, 1888 (Stephenville, Texas)
Died: January 3, 1974

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Tales from Neonius- The Unseen Dancer

The idea of the Kingdom of Neonius has been in my head for over 10 years. This poem is a revisiting of it. I am hoping to delve more into the kingdom in the years to come.

Tales from Neonius- The Unseen Dancer

The king realized that the timing was right
So he came down to dance with his people one night
The dance hall was buzzing, “The king’s on the floor!”
He danced every dance, then, he danced a few more.

He danced with his people, he danced with them all’
He waltzed and he sambaed with big and with small
He two-stepped ‘til clocks chimed eleven plus one
Yet unchanged by midnight, his feet were not done.

They danced through the night, his steps filled the place
He wowed them with rhythm…amazed theme with grace

How long the king danced is still hard to pin down
With varying stories heard all through the town.
“Three hours,” says a cobbler, a maker of fines shoes
“Three years,” says Wikipedia, the Wiki must be true?!

3 days? 3 nights? 3 hours? The time is hard to say
It seemed to last forever. It’s remembered to this day.

However long it lasted the dance did finally end
The king left for the castle his business to attend
He rode off from the hall with a big smile on his face
He bid farewell to all those who had gathered in the place.

“I must say I’ll remember long this time I’ve spent with you
The king amongst his people is a good thing it is true.
Yet , now I must return and take care, oversee this land.
I’ll think of you whenever I dance, I hope you understand.”

The king had plans of coming back and dancing there again
Yet troubles in the land made plans like those of mice and men
The people’s days passed by and weeks turned into months and more
The night of dancing with the king became a tale of yore.

Then one day around lunch time, from the hall there came a noise
“It’s music that we heard!” reported several school age boys.

Their story was confirmed by many through the afternoon
As townsfolk came and verified they heard the royal tune

One woman who had been there on the night the king had come
Was tear-filled as she listened in the auditorium.

“This very song, this melody, my ears recall each beat.
He danced with me to it so well, though I had two left feet.
Yes, still he led me round the floor; we danced all through the night
He did not one time mention when my steps did not fall right.”

Some men recalled the king as well
He’d danced with everyone
While mothers danced with daughters and fathers danced with sons.

As you may guess the people flocked to hear the new, old song
And though the dance hall was quite small the lines were never long.

Some people waltzed and sambaed and two-stepped with steps brand new
Some jitterbugged and hip-hopped and some break danced, it is true!

Some people didn’t dance; they merely hummed or made up words
While others passed the time describing all the notes they heard.

The king was in his castle
Yet, his dance was back in swing
The people moved without concern
Of what new days would bring.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Maryellen Delavorias's Letter



A Letter from Maryellen Delavorias

With aplogies to Bob and Larry and Randy Stonehill, I recently got a letter from Maryellen Delavorias in Poy Sippi, Wisconsin. Maryellen is in first grade in Poy Sippi. According to her letter, during the first week of school one of Maryellen's classmates celebrated her birthday and shared goodie bags with the whole class. Maryellen is not sure exactly what happened, but there was a book about Jesus in her bag and now she can't have goodie bags with candy in them at school anymore. She loves Jesus a lot and believes He loves her, but she is a bit confused as to why He wouldn't let her have candy anymore. She takes care of her teeth and has never had any cavities! Apparently, Maryellen deals with her confusion through writing because she included the following poem with the letter.(If you are thinking that this poem is a bit advanced for a girl in first grade, I am assuming that, as if often the case with school projects, there was some parental assistance involved.)

Dear, Jesus, why'd you take away my candy?
You know how much I love my M&Ms.
Dear, Jesus, why'd you take away my chocolate?
I fear I will not munch on it again

Bread of Life, can't I have one single donut?
A hole or two would make my day complete.
My savior, I know that your walk was bitter
Does that mean I can't ever taste a sweet?

Dear, Jesus, why'd you take away my candy?
Ironically, an apple's still okay.
Dear, Jesus right now, I can't sugarcoat it.
I don't like what you did to me today.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Belly Slide Day



I recently received a poem from an acquaintance of mine from my time in Wisconsin. The poem involved a penguin being elected mayor of a small town and declared a city-wide holiday called Slide on Your Belly Day. I was also asked if I would try to put the poem to music. I have included the words to the poem below.

BELLY SLIDE DAY

The penguin said slide
So that’s what we all did
On a warm summer Wisconsin eve

On our bodies face first, down the hills
Down the dales
It was almost too much to believe

Old and young slid together on
Belly slide day
Farmers and cowmen did too
In spite of our worries, we slid hand in hand
Just like, I guess, most penguins do

Belly sliding I highly recommend
It sure beats sliding on your own rear end (2x)

Myrtle McDougall brought her cardboard square
And slide time and time with great ease
Officer Johnson slid slightly too fast
And almost ran into a tree

The bankers and businessmen
Slid for a while
They laughed as their ride reached a great speed
The teachers and doctors, like Artemis Jones
Slid right through a big patch of weeds.

Belly sliding I highly recommend
It sure beats sliding on your own rear end (2x)

The Douglass twins, Sherry and, yes, Shelly, too
Were sliders beyond all compare
They took home the medal and heard Sopu say,
“You are sliders extraordinaire!”

As the sun set, the sliding fun gradually stopped
Except a few folks there and here
Now with our bellies filled up with great warmth
We practice our slides for next year.

Belly sliding I highly recommend
It sure beats sliding on your own rear end (2x)

Monday, August 24, 2009

Winning Five Games in a Row



The softball team I play on in the summer yesterday in the play-offs which means next Sunday we need to win five games in a row to win the championship. This led to the following song which I sent to my teammates.

Winning Five Games in a Row

I told my wife I won't be walking much on Monday
'cause I will have big bruises on my knees
I told my wife I won't be walking much on Monday
Winning five games in a row does that to me

I told my wife I won't be walking much on Monday
'cause I'll be sunburned and looking like a fool
I told my wife I won't be walking much on Monday
You'll need to take the kids to school

I told my wife I won't be walking much on Monday
I'll be worn out from five games diving in the dirt
I told my wife I won't be walking much on Monday
But the good news is that I will have a brand new shirt

I told my wife I won't be walking much on Monday
She said, "I don't want to hear any more"
I told my wife I won't be walking much on Monday
She handed me my glove as she pushed me out the door.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Get Back to Africa



The idea for this song came from a book I recently read JESUS WANTS TO SAVE CHRISTIANS by Rob Bell. In one section Bell is writing about the narrative in the book of Acts where Philip overhears an Ethiopian eunuch reading a section of the book of Isaiah. The two points that struck me about Bell's commentary were:

1) the irony of this African going back to Africa in a chariot after he is baptized. Pharoah had chased out Moses and the Israelites years ago in a chariot.

2) As a eunuch, the Ethiopian was obviously not circumcised and it was amazing that Philip would even be talking to him let alone sharing the news of Jesus with him.

Get Back to Africa

Get back to Africa in your chariot rolling along
Get back to Africa singing out your brand new song
Get back to Africa called out your eyes are wide
Get back to Africa, He heard you when you cried

You can’t be circumcised, ‘cuz you’re not made that way
And yet you ARE at least your heart after this day
You wondered who they meant , the words the prophet said
And now you know the Man, you’re washed from toe to head

Stopping By Red Lobster on a Snowy Evening



This song was literally inspired by Leviticus 11:9-12.

Stopping by Red Lobster on a Snowy Evening

It was quiet at Red Lobster
When I walked in the door
I was simply there to speak the truth, nothing less and nothing more
I held my nose as I looked at the tables, quite certain what I’d find there

With God on my side, I strode past the hostess
For I had a message to share.

At table seven were two young men on a date sharing a bisque
Enjoying their meal to the full, they were unaware of the risk.

“I can see that is lobster you’re eating. It has neither fins nor scales
If you keep this food in your diet
No number of prayers will prevail.

Put down your fork and your knife now
Flee this restaurant while you still can
This seafood abomination is swimming cross our fair land.:”

I moved to a table, eleven I think,
Where there sat a family of five
They seemed quite content, but I must declare
“Those people should not be alive!!

“Sir, you’re eating salmon which has scales and fins it’s true
But your six old popping popcorn SHRIMP! Tell me what kind of father are you?!

Put down your fork and your knife now
Flee this restaurant while you still can
This seafood abomination is swimming cross our fair land.:”

I stayed a while longer, offering free dining advice
I even kept one man from pouring soy sauce on his rice.

My job’s far from over. My mission it is clear
A Pappadeaux’s here
Long John Silver’s there.

I’ll take it where ever He leads me
E’en Maine if that be the Lord’s will
Wherever they’re eating the finless and scaleless
Wherever the butter sauce spills

Put down your fork and your knife now
Flee this restaurant while you still can
This seafood abomination is swimming cross our fair land.:”