Royal Worm (Mike Tauser) can be reached at tauser@sbcglobal.net.


Thursday, April 30, 2009

A Three Days' Journey from Worst to First

I wrote the following poem shortly before Easter. What can I say? I really like baseball. The baseball narrative is loosely based on Jesus' teaching about the last being first and a parable he told about people having excuses for not being able to come to His banquet.

If it is close to Easter and baseball’s Opening Day, that means the Dukes are at it again. For those who are not baseball fans here’s a quick glossary to aid your understanding of the poem.class=

Seven of the eight nicknames mentioned in this poem are or have been actual nicknames of minor league teams…


Dukes… previously a team in Albuquerque, New Mexico

Cougars… among others… the Kane County Cougars in Kane County, Illinois

Zephyrs…Play in New Orleans. They were an Astros farm team when I saw them play.

Thunder… Trenton, NJ

Colts…previously in Modesto, CA in the 1960s.

Caps… previously the Springfield, Ill. Capitals

Aces… previously in Alexandria, Louisiana(they may still be playing)

This leaves the POWERED UP ENERGY. I’ve never actually heard this name, but it would be a great nickname and provide ample opportunity to rake in corporate sponsorship money.

Wikipedia… This is an internet encyclopedia in which readers can create and add information to about any topic imaginable.

The season’s end was drawing near

The pennant drive was done

With just a few days left the Dukes

Had lost more than they’d won

The minor leaguers were called up

To try out for next year

A last place finish was assured

That fact was very clear.

Yet strange things happen to the Dukes, each season without fail

I’ve heard their coach in ’58 was eaten by a whale.

The Dukes came to the ballpark for their final three game ‘stand

Soon after Sunday’s final out their flights home were all planned.

But during batting practice of the Friday night game one

A word came that the Cougars had declared their season done.

The Cougars were the champions of the eight team baseball league

They clinched a week ago, but now they claimed they had fatigue.

“We find we’re just too tired” said their skipper on that day.

“We cannot carry on for even one more single day”

So just like that the Cougars slept, relinquishing their crown

Which passed on to the Zephyrs, who played games in the next town.

The Dukes thought little of this news. They played their game. They lost.

A few of them were talking of how much their golf clubs cost.

Yet, on the television at 11:43

The news was made official that one more team had to leave.

“The owner of the Zephyrs is to marry in five days.

He wants his team to be there, so the play-offs, they can’t play.”

In light of this, the Zephyrs had to pass the crown along

They couldn’t be the champions and not sing the play-off song.

They sent the title to the third place Powered Up Energy

The bloggers wondered blogging, “Just how long will THEIR reign be?”

It ended up a short one…lasting ‘til the next sunrise

The P.U.E. announced that they were giving up their prize.

“We can’t believe we’re saying this,” The Powered Up’s skipper said

“19 of our players must make sure their pets are fed.

It seems that every pet-sitter is ill or out of town

We must tend to our animals, and sacrifice our crown.”

The news had barely soaked in when the Dukes began game two

They had moved up to fifth place…still they lost 13-2.

The websites and announcers barely had the standings right

When another new announcement was made late Saturday night.

It seems the 4th through 6th place teams the Thunder, Colts, and Caps

Would be unable to pick up the top three’s title scraps.

“We just can’t open up our gates for one more game, you see”

The skipper of the Colts explained, “It’s the economy”.

It was the same for each of them, their coffers had run dry

“We cannot pay for one more game, no matter how we try.”

So Sunday morning came, the Dukes were now in second place

They only trailed the Aces in this upside down turned race.

The Dukes thought little of it, for they trailed the first place team

By seven games so passing them was nothing but a dream.

Yet, after Sunday’s game the Dukes were scratching there’s no doubt

They read on Wikipedia, the Aces had pulled out.

The Aces Field was being razed and for next year, redone.

With Aces playing on the road, construction had begun.

So while the Aces tended to their grass and brand new seats

The Dukes began to celebrate their title, oh so sweet!

The season’s end was drawing near

The pennant drive was through

The Dukes had gone from worst to first

In three games it is true.

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